“This is 40” – really?

There’s probably not much I can say about “This is 40” besides that I’m utterly disappointed. That was not what I expected and Judd Apatow should be ashamed of himself for having wasted my time. I mean, I would moan and groan often about how our domestic distributors fail to release movies without considerable delay compared to the U.S. of A. I can’t stand that and it bothers me personally. This film, however, could have stayed un-premiered for far longer, if you ask me.

Herein, I would like to congratulate the responsible body for releasing this pathetic, lifeless, moronic, impotent, dim, sloppy, shameful, makeshift, tawdry, and unfunny excuse for a comedy on Valentine’s Day in the UK. Ok, I’m not stupid and I know this dud was released on that day specifically in order to lure the unsuspecting love-struck couples to the cinema under the pretence of a cheerful, feel-good, funny and refreshing romantic comedy.

Well, it’s not. The doors are shut and you are stuck in the theatre. You paid a tenner and now you have to sit there and survive this excruciatingly long display of sadness and mediocrity. After all, it’s not personal. It’s business… Money exchanged hands, the producers got richer and you got poorer. And chances are that your date didn’t go as planned, because the film was crap and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I’d really like to know what the premise of this movie was in the first place. Because it seems to me, as if the producers got together and thought that they could maybe get away with making “Knocked up 2”, but different. They’d take the sideline characters from that film and put them in the spotlight. But… What would they be doing? Oh, nothing, they’d just be sitting there exchanging anecdotal stories and toilet humor… Like, all the time. Is that really what happened?

“This is 40” is e-x-a-c-t-l-y what the title suggests. It’s a movie about a couple of 40-year-old people (and they are not virgins, so it’s not funny). And just as you’d expect, being forty is not spectacularly interesting. It’s boring, predictable and conventional. Full Stop. So they have a teenage daughter (self-explanatory), financial issues, marital problems, identity crises and pretty much every cliché problems that middle-aged people have. Sadly, it’s not “American Beauty” and it’s not awesome. The only thing “This is 40” shows, is that being forty sucks big time. Well, whoop-dee-friggin-doo. Kill me now, because I had not realized that already.

Or maybe it’s a part of this elaborate plan of letting young people in on what awaits them once they seal the deal, get married, have kids, a mortgage and there is no going back. Sounds perfectly reasonable, right? Because how else would we know that, if it hadn’t been for Judd Apatow?

Now I’m perfectly aware of the fact that being in a committed relationship and having children means hiding in the toilet to play on my iPad, hiding resentment, constantly fighting, pointlessly shifting the blame and making a fuss out of passing gas in bed. It turns out that real life, just as “This is 40”, is a mostly incoherent collage of miserable jokes and ridiculously paced, redundant events that are somehow supposed to build up to a climax of sorts, upon which my faith in true love would be restored. Nothing makes you happier than seeing other people’s trials and tribulations, right? If that’s the case, I need to seriously rethink my life.

Rant over.

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